A few things to love about Minnesota

Okay, it's been nearly a year since I posted last. Scrapping the previous format...at least for the time being.

Here's a few things that were amazing from our recent trip to Minnesota:

1. Nye's Polonaise - The Best Bar in America (according to Esquire)
2. Walleye dinner : Minnesota || Catfish* dinner : the South
3. No guns in the Mall of America, folks.
4. The Mississippi River!
5. Staying in a hotel that was housing hundreds of teenage wrestlers in town for the Minnesota Wrestling tournament
6. The Saint Paul public library is beautiful...this is what libraries should look like. [Oh, yeah...I almost forgot...people don't read books anymore.]
7. Saint Paul Old Tyme Candy Store (since 1932)
8. Walking in the skyways and The Walker
9. One of the most meaningful romantic moments in my life (so far).
10. A real diner!
11. Celebrating Jeff and Leah's wedding with new friends.
12. The Happy Gnome!
13. A filler item with another "!", so the list doesn't have 13 items!
14. An alt-country/blue grass band playing in J. J. Hill Library...on a stage made out of reading room tables.

*Though as a Minnesotan pointed out, "Walleye isn't a bottom feeder."

Jetsam: Most common street names

Many years ago, I heard an NPR piece that listed the most common street names in the United States.  I scratched it down on a scrap of paper.  It's time to part with the paper, but not the list.

Most Common Street Names in the U.S.

1.  2nd

2.  3rd

3.  1st

4.  4th

5.  Park

6.  Main

7.  5th 

8.  6th

9.  Oak

Jetsam: Overheard on BART

"Any situation can become an argument.  It just needs enough work."

--anonymous BART rider to her male companion 2/20/08, approx. 8:12 a.m., near 12th St. Oakland station

Errata from our 2007 holiday letter

Our friends and families have high expectations for our annual holiday cards.  We have produced some memorable cards, but it can drive us insane to design and produce 100(ish) handmade cards.  There is the inevitable point when Teresa and I gaze at each other with yuletide frustration.

The 2007 card was a 5" x 7" card with our usual details about the year:  what we did and our favorite books, movies, and the new kids/pets that are in our larger universe.  We cut the card, so that it could be folded to reveal a fireplace with two cats, lit candles, with a stocking waiting to be filled.

To minimize the number of times that Swiss Colony faux-cheese is used as a projectile weapon, we keep starting the project earlier and earlier.  This year we started so early, that some versions of the letter included some predictions that didn't happen and had a few omissions that we couldn't foresee.  Some people even received longer versions of the 2007 highlights.  So rather than include the errata slip in our 2008 card, here are some items to consider:

Errors of commission:

--We did not spend several cozy winter days at a yurt near Yosemite.  T found a roundtrip, direct flight to Munich with a price we could not pass up, so the Yosemite trip changed to our Jan. 2008 Germany trip.

--Neither of us actually finished reading What Is The What until January 2008.  

--In that same vein, though T finished it, I still have The Yiddish Policeman's Union in my reading queue.

--When we said "...Cracker / CVB and friends", we should really have highlighted the band that has reached 7 of the top 10 "Play Count" spots on our iTunes in less than 4 months.  Stop reading this and immediately go purchase First You Live by Dusty Rhodes and the River Band.

--Please note that reading Jane Austin's Northhanger Abbey was not a highlight, but simply the fulfillment of a New Year's Resolution, made at a weak moment after completing Reading Lolita in Tehran.  I promise to keep Ms. Austin out of our 2008 highlights.

--We did leave The Soprano's off the list because in our humble opinions it didn't live up to the hype.  

Errors of omission:

--The Bright Eyes, Gillian Welch concert at the Greek Theater was very memorable.  We caught sight of Victor K. from CVB taking in the show.  We reveled in the lo-tech stage show:  one of Conor's friends was bouncing toys around on an overhead projector that shot the colorful images onto a white-clad stage of musicians.  And the music was stellar, but too short.  Gillian Welch's partner David Rawlings was amazing.

--I doubt T would have wanted me to add this to the list, but Adult Swim online, especially Frisky Dingo and The Venture Bros., kept me in stitches for the last half of the year.  Tim and Eric are pitch perfect at times too.

--And No Country For Old Men was only kept off the list because we saw it after the cards were in the mail.

Friends, watch your mail for next year's holiday card...and just ignore any small errors.

Erratum: missing blog posts

It is important to clear up the confusion about the missing posts from the past several months.  I regret this error even though it is likely to recur.

It is very true that these missing posts are indeed missing.  This is due, in part, to the fact that the messages that you do not see were never posted.  Another primary reason for the missing status is that they were also not written.

If you find any of the missing posts, please let me know.

Thanks for understanding.
Hans

Flotsam: A ghost is born

We hold in our hands a million objects, but some stick. This guy is one adhesive little poltergeist. He's been around so long that I often forget to look at him and sometimes my eyes pass right over him when I do see him. In other words, he's been around so long that he really is a ghost.

During college, when someone had access to a car (or later when I did), we drove to the theater by the mall for a "double feature." Often after the free show, we would make a stop at a diner. When we were near the mall, Friendly's Restaurant was the option of choice unless we wanted to delay the papers and assigned reading...then the State Street Diner was more likely the place to go.

If you haven't been to Friendly's, I'll help you out. Take a Denny's restaurant, color the booths fire-ant red, toss some jump-the-pegs brain-teaser games on the table, and add a focus on ice cream, including a double-thick shake called the Fribble. The restaurant radiates the meals (with ice cream) that it wants you to buy. Bountiful scoops of ice cream burst through the borders of what would otherwise be a rectangular menu. When you reach for the ketchup, your hand passes a flotilla of seasonal table-top menulets, standing tall in inverted plastic T's.

I freed my ghost from one of the seasonal table-top menus. He spoke to me, loud enough over the conversation with Trey or Britt or Tony or Amelia (or someone else?), that I decided we were hitting the road together and leaving the rest of the mini-menu behind. Since that day, he resides in my checkbook as the spector of finance. He has lived in my checkbook through 7 or 8 bank accounts; he can tell you a few tales.

Epilogue: In my cross-country travels, another ghost moved into the back of my checkbook--though I can't remember when or where that happened. But both ghosts are pretty much on their own. Checks are nearly obsolete. I can't clip the phantoms onto a credit card or attach them to an electronic funds transfer. So, they will become true ghosts someday. The last haunt will probably be a recycling center. Maybe part of the original spirit will make the journey across the country to a menu at a Friendly's restaurant. Stranger things have happened.

Binnacles Lost: 4 Intangibles near my office

SOMA, the neighborhood where my office is in San Francisco, is in the midst of several major development projects. When I first arrived, we told time by the pounding of 12-story pile-drivers. The fire department equipment tests would confirm which day of the week it was: Chainsaw Tuesday, Laddertruck Thursday, etc. The aural headaches are mainly now replaced by newly sprouting mega-chains, business parks, and condos, all in silent prayer that liquifaction is a myth.

So after three years (and change), it is no surprise that the daily rituals that have been my compass have gone adrift*. Here are a few intangible things that won't be back:

1) a good reason to call it a "coffee cart." My daily routine involves picking up coffee before entering the office. Nine days out of ten, I go to Cafe D'Amore at the CalTrain Depot. This originally started as a coffee cart, but soon transferred to a stand inside the station. So, it's not a cart anymore, but when the afternoon coffee fix is needed, I say I'm headed off to Coffee Cart. Staff members who only know the stand often call it the cart.

2) the way to find my preferred milk at the coffee cart. My usual order during the warmer months** is an iced americano or iced coffee. I love my coffe strong with a milk. My preferred aluminum dispenser had a dent from a careless customer. So it was easy to find. But then, one day, I arrived to find a chipped spout! Then, a shiny, new bottle appeared, labeled in handwritten sharpie. Could it be that people who use Whole Milk in their coffee beverages are more clumsy? (T don't answer that.)

3) the Choppers boycott. My office building had a small restaurant that was open for breakfast and lunch. When I started my job, I was forced to take a blood oath by J.B. that I would never set foot inside Chopper's until they changed their evil ways (stopped being mean, let people use the ATM, charged the same price from day to day, etc.). Once the building offered free bagels (paid for by the building) to thank the tenants for dealing with a construction hassle. I crossed the line for the bagel and was keel-hauled with a note that read "Hans is the devil". The note was scrawled in single-serving size strawberry jelly across a "free bagel" flyer. (many of those details are exagerrated for effect, or in other words, lies) Anyway, short story long, the Chopper's boycott was so effective that we didn't realize that they had new owners for about 3 months. The boycott was done, but I don't think I ever visited Chopper's as much as I might have without the blood oath. Chopper's itself is now gone; closed for remodeling to become an Australian wine bar...some things I don't make up.

4) the cut of Sparkle's jib. This is really the only thing that I miss out of these four things. I love dogs, but mainly dogs that reach a certain size. This isn't to say small dogs need not apply, but typically their resumes won't make it past the first cut. The "nice" owners of Chopper's had a Pomeranian named Sparkle. Sparkle was not yippy. Sparkle was a friendly, sleepy, frisky guard in the entrance way that added light to the start of the work day. Sparkle is gone because corporate chains moved into the neighborhood. Next time you have a mochafresca with a caprese-swanky wrap, think of Sparkle...she left for that tasty lunch.

My best to you and Sparkle,
Hans

*or to stay true to my title, the compass stand is now missing.
**[with smug tone] "Oh, I forgot, I live in California, so that would be all year."